A few years ago I read an amazing book that set me on a journey to learn more about a subject that all humans are naturally drawn to: happiness. That book was Gretchin Rubin‘s, “The happiness project: or why I spent a year trying to sing in the morning, clean my closets, fight right, read Aristotle, and generally have more fun”. The author spends a year trying out various hacks to see what contributes to having more happiness every day in her life. As it turns out, it’s all the little things.
There is a section in the book where Rubin talks about coming up with her list of Commandments. These are kind of a roadmap for the 12 months of her Happiness Project where she lays out for herself a list of guidelines she wants to live by. I had also recently been reading through Jordan Peterson‘s 12 Rules for Life which is a very long, detailed book about his recommendations to how to lead your life in a way that contributes to the overall betterment of society. Reading these two books so close together led me to create something of a mix of the two ideas that worked for me. I created my 12 rules for joy. These are 12 things that represent my core values for how I want to live my life with more joy, connection, and love while staying true to the most authentic version of myself that I want to show up as every day. Every morning when I sit down to do my gratitude journal and review my 10/10/1 (more on that later – Rachel Hollis is a genius), I also write my 12 rules for joy. I write them, read them, think about them, and then go out and try to live my life by them. Do I achieve all of them every day? Absolutely not. But by writing them down, sitting with them, and thinking about how I CAN achieve them each day, I am definitely closer to being the person I want to be every day. I’m going to share mine below and then provide some guidelines on how you can create your own. I promise you, if you are a personal growth nut like me, it will be worth every second. And even if you’re not, from my experience it will definitely add to your daily joy. Here they are.
my 12 rules for joy
- Be Jeni
- It’s ok to say no
- Embrace the suck
- Only look back to see how far you’ve come
- Slow down, be quiet, listen
- Love and believe in yourself always
- Refuse to be anyone’s victim
- Get outside, you love it out there!
- “Have courage and be kind” ~ Cinderella
- Believe in the abundance of the universe
- Show up for others and lead by example
- “Other people’s opinions of you are none of your business” ~ Rachel Hollis
I encourage anyone who is looking to add a little joy to their day and to their life to create their own 12 rules for joy. It takes just a few minutes and can add just a little more happiness to your day. My recommendation is to get a pen and paper and write these out. It’s a more personal experience, and it will help you to remember them better so you can refer to them throughout the day. I do this often, especially when I see myself facing something that is going to push my buttons or cause me to react in a way I will not be proud of. This could be something as small as feeling in a place of lack, aka, not enough time, not enough money, not enough help. That’s when I’ll remind myself of #10, “Believe in the abundance of the universe”. Or when I feel overwhelmed with everything on my plate I can use #5, “Slow down, be quiet, listen” and recenter myself. Maybe I’m doing that thing again where I am tying my value to my productivity, then I will call on #6, “Love and believe in yourself always”. And of course, when I am in traffic or in a line waiting somewhere and someone is being a jerk, I will use the words of Cinderella and try to, “Have courage and be kind” so I can avoid reacting in a way that does not represent who I want to be.
Here are some quick pointers to get you started:
- Take a moment to think about what your core values are. This could include asking yourself questions like: who do I want to be, what matters most to me in this world, who do I want to show up as for myself or for those I care about?
- Just start writing. You can create a whole page or two of things to get the juices flowing and then go back, review, and pick those top 12 that best represent you, who you are, and who you want to be.
- Once you have your final 12, I also recommend writing these on a piece of paper and sticking it somewhere you can see it every day. I have mine taped up in my closet but your spot might be a bulletin board where you keep reminders, or on your bathroom mirror. Choose the place that works best for you where you will catch at least a glimpse of the list every day in passing.
- Write them down every morning when you have your first cup of coffee, tea, or whatever your beverage of choice is to start your day.
I hope this idea brings some joy to your day today and helps you in leading a happier, healthier life!
funnyfacebookgirl 
This is a great post and really does speak to me, especially when I’m trying to find more happiness in my life. I would love recommendations on books about these kinds of lists. I love the content again and encourage more people to be doing this.
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