
There’s this idea I’ve been toying with lately. It’s not a new idea but it feels big and new to me. It’s this idea of letting go of some things so we can hold on to others. Most people have heard the saying that when you say yes to something that also means you’re saying no to something else. When we keep adding things to our plate everything can’t fit so things inevitably fall off. The question is, what do we allow to fall off when we pile on the next thing? Are we even aware of what’s falling off? How do we keep it all together? Do we have to?
In thinking through this concept, I’ve come across some really great articles. It started with this Goop article, How to Let Go (When There’s Always More to Do), from psychotherapist Annie Armstrong Miyao. One of the exercises Miyao suggests is to create a list of your values, of what matters to you and brings meaning into your life. It might be as simple as having a great cup of coffee in the early morning quiet while letting the sun warm your face. When you’re in that moment, how do you feel all throughout your body? You want to create a list of about ten items that can serve as your guideposts. These are things you don’t want to give up no matter what, things that you hold sacred. When someone asks you to do something such that by saying yes to that thing, you would be losing out on being able to do one of those things you hold sacred, then that is your sign to say no.
In the article, Let Go of What Was to Make Space for What Will Be, Krista O’Reilly-Davi-Digui, builds an insightful argument around minimalism and how it can help us lead a happier life. There are many degrees of minimalism from the extreme, think Elon Musk and no earthly possessions, to the going through your closet and possessions to see what no longer brings you joy. Being able to let go of some things in our life that no longer serve us can open up unexpected and new opportunities. We have to be ready to be uncomfortable with the unknown. Also, having less “things” to worry about can reduce our stress. There have been many articles written about Steve Jobs “uniform” of a black turtleneck with jeans or Mark Zuckerberg with his t-shirts and hoodies. By minimizing their wardrobe they reduce their decision-making, leaving more room in their psyche for other more important things to focus their energy on. Krista O’Reilly-Davi-Digui says, “Only then can we shake off the unessential, eliminate, reduce. Craft a life that is uncluttered and rich with purpose. A life with room to breathe so that we are freed up to share our voice and gifts. Whatever the excess that overstuffs our life we are served by getting honest about why we hold on tight.
This is the way to freedom.”
What will you let go of so you can hold on to only what you love?