For as long as I can remember, my mom has been a letter-writer of the first order. She loves to write letters because she also loves to receive letters and any letter-writer in the know understands the two go hand-in-hand. Every letter she writes and sends out into the world includes a small part of herself and her beautiful spirit through her artwork. She wants the letter to arrive and at the mere sight of the envelope for a little smile to alight on the lips of the receiver. Sometimes she includes just a sketch of a small delicate bird found in the top right corner above the date. Other times it’s a cute cartoon doodle of any well-known character that could be found in the Sunday comics section of the newspaper.

When it was addressed to my son, it came in the form of a small homemade card made with a regular piece of paper, cut in half and then folded. The cover would include something like a Calvin & Hobbes comic book scene of a snowball fight or Tom chasing Jerry around the room with a large broom in hand. Anytime my son was sick as a child, my mom would start the fun with the envelope itself and finish the rest of the cartoon story inside the card from front to back, woven in and around the words saying, “We miss you lots and hope you feel better very soon!” I remember the look of importance on his face when I came in the with the mail and told him he had a letter from Nana!

The art of letter writing is something that has diminished over time with younger generations but it is still one of the most beautiful ways I can think of to connect with another human being. It shows you are willing to give your most valuable thing you have, your time, to find a piece of paper and pen, sit down, and take a few moments to let someone know you are thinking of them. When it arrives in the recipient’s mailbox, it is a wonderful little surprise, a small present waiting to be unwrapped that they had no idea was coming. Think about the last time you received a letter. Do you remember the small smile that played at the corner of your lips when you saw it in the stack of mail brought in from the mailbox? The little thrill you got pondering what the writer may have to report to you about the small every day going-on’s of their life? Think of it like scrolling through Instagram or Twitter to see what your friends are up to except it’s an update just for you, directly to you, and only you get to open it, hold it in your hands, and cherish it forever.

For the last fourteen years or so my mom and I have been somewhat estranged. It’s not something either of us want but something that doesn’t seem to be able to be helped as I cannot change her beliefs and she cannot accept my right to have my own. Strangely though, it has in no way diminished my love of or idolization of my mother as the best kind of woman I’ve ever known. She is my hero in every way. Even her ability to stand by what she believes despite all obstacles, even despite all the pain and suffering it brings to her, is something I can admire. And now, I am using the art of letter writing that she she taught me to keep her in my life. Once a week, I sit down at my desk, take out a piece of paper or a nice piece of stationary I know she will appreciate, and I tell her about the going-on’s of my life. I tell her all of the highlights of my week. For me, letter-writing is now the lifeline connecting my life with my mom’s. Despite any and all differences we have, I know that I can give her one small special moment in her week, a letter waiting for her in her mailbox to open. It is a reminder to her of how much I love her and that I am thinking of her. I cannot think of anything quite so magical as that.