“I continue to explain that no matter what their problem seems to be, there is only one thing I ever work on with anyone, and this is Loving the Self. Love is the miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.” ~ Louise Hay
(Hay, 1984, p. 17)
I’ve heard of many people speak of the work of Louise Hay over the years however, it wasn’t until recently that I began to get to know her books, recordings, and various writings. Her philosophy is beautiful and simple. It begins with the most basic yet profound thought: if we can really and truly learn to love ourselves we can begin to heal every part of our lives. Improving our overall health has to begin with our mental health.
Loving the Self
I’m going to go ahead and say right now that Louise Hay is the freaking BOSS of personal growth. It sounds so simple, loving yourself, yet most of the population of the world today struggles with some form of self-loathing, most without even realizing it.
For example, do you experience any of the following thoughts or feelings?
- constant self-criticism,
- unworthy of being loved by others,
- feeling like you don’t deserve happiness,
- guilt about pursuing your own interests or goals,
- taking time to be alone,
- practicing any form of self-care,
- being able to find someone to share your life with,
- being able to make meaningful friends
So what does it even mean, loving the self? It starts with this simple idea: approving of yourself no matter what and without criticism. It’s one of those things they call simple but not easy. Stay with me here. Who controls the thoughts in your head? Just one person: YOU. Most of us are not tuning into that concept and we are letting our brains take over with our thoughts constantly running wild. We need to be mindful in becoming aware of our thoughts and guiding them to control our own inner narrative.
Why is this so important? Because what we think and believe about ourselves and our lives becomes our truth. Have you ever heard that saying, “Perception is reality”? Meaning that if someone has a perception about you, then that becomes reality for them and for their relationship with you. Well, this is even more true within your own mind. Your perception of yourself determines how you treat yourself, how you allow others to treat you, how you do or do not love yourself, and most importantly how you talk to yourself and what that means for you and your life. YOU ALONE are responsible for all of your life experiences. No one else.
Louise Hay has many powerful statements in her teachings but right now I’m going to focus on these two:
“Every thought we think is creating our future.”
“It’s only a thought, and a thought can be changed.”
Louise Hay uses the power of affirmations to begin to change the way we think about ourselves and guide us toward learning to love the self. She has this exercise she calls “mirror work”. It is very uncomfortable at first but also very powerful. It will take time to work up to but it’s a great step on the path to loving the self. The exercise involves standing in front of a mirror at least once a day and just saying I love you to your image in the mirror. It is crazy how hard this one little thing is! The other daily exercise is any time you catch yourself starting in on self-criticism stop yourself and repeat the affirmation, “I love and approve of myself”. You may do it hundreds of times a day but it is going to bring awareness to where to start the work and it also feels pretty good, like a release.
“The point of power is always in the present moment.” ~Louise Hay
(Hay, 1984, p. 4)
Just read this out loud to yourself several times and let it sink in. “The point of power is always in the present moment.” What does this mean? The only moment that matters is the one you are in right now. In each moment, you have the power to decide what will you will do right now and what will come next. There is a beautiful poem called list of things to heal your mood by Rupi Kaur that brings this all together for me, specifically in those very hard moments. I write this at the start of every new journal, I have it on a piece of paper in front of me at work, and I refer to it for guidance when I need to pick myself up off the ground and get back up to go again. I’m going to leave this magical bit of poetry with you in the hopes that it will help you through the dark and back into the light, one moment at a time.
list of things to heal your mood: 1. cry it. walk it. write it. scream it. dance it our of your body. 2. if after all that you are still spiraling out of control ask yourself if sinking into the mud is worth it 3. the answer is no 4. the answer is breathe 5. sip tea and let your nerves settle 6. you are the hero of your life 7. this feeling doesn’t have power over you 8. the universe has prepared you to handle this 9. no matter how dark it gets the light is always on its way 10. you are the light 11. walk yourself back to where love lives ~rupi kaur
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